28Aug/090
Twitter: shitmydadsays
I've begun to read Reddit quite often, and this is one of the things that I found there.
Check out this Twitter feed called "shitmydadsays". It's a 28 year old who tweets things his 73 year old dad says. Many of them are quite humorous.
Some of my personal favorites are:
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
and:
"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."
Enjoy 
Max